


All I Want

by sweetsanguine



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: "developing" i couldnt find the right word to use for them sorting their shit out, Developing Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, Prompt Fic, my first work on here yay!!, sort of ??? i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-25 06:29:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9807281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetsanguine/pseuds/sweetsanguine
Summary: Neil knows this: “This” is nothing.He and Andrew are nothing.But sometimes, sometimes he dares to believe that maybe “this” could be something.-for alientomb on tumblr who asked: omg “i never asked for you to give me the world. all i’ve wanted is you.” for andreil PLS





	

**Author's Note:**

> fic also posted [ here ](http://striker-ten.tumblr.com/post/157378352508/omg-i-never-asked-for-you-to-give-me-the-world)

Neil knows this: “This” is nothing.

He and Andrew are nothing.

But sometimes, sometimes he dares to believe that maybe “this” could be something.

He dares to believe it on days when he catches Andrew staring at him, something foreign in his eyes.

He dares to believe it when he wakes up, and they’re carefully curled around each other.

He dares to believe it when Andrew kisses him like fire, uncontrollable and unpredictable.

It’s moments like these when Neil thinks “Maybe we could be more.”

-

Neil knows Andrew.

He knows Andrew better than he knows himself.

He’s learned to read Andrew’s body and knows that the half-snarl on his lips and tension in his body means no, but the tenderness in his hands and desire in his eyes means yes.

Neil Josten used to be a dream. The man he should have been but couldn’t. All he was was Alex and Stefan and Chris and Nathaniel, and all he knew was how to run, how to lie, how to hide and mastered the art of being invisible. 

He gets more tired with each name and personality until they all eventually clash to make a person who is alive but not living.

And Neil wants to live.

But then Andrew came like a tsunami and swept Neil off his feet.

He forced Neil to stop telling him half-truths and in turn made Neil Josten a reality.

And just when Neil thought he had Andrew figured out, he kisses him. Neil’s world spins and it feels like he’s out of control.

Later, Andrew says that “this” is nothing. But how could Neil convince himself of that when he looks into Andrew’s eyes and sees the universe.

-

It happens like this:

They’re sitting on the roof side by side, legs brushing against each other as they pass a cigarette between them. They sit in silence, watching the sun go down

“Okay, what’s wrong with you?” Andrew exhales sharply, a puff of smoke escaping his lips. 

Neil doesn’t answer, giving a confused look instead.

“Don’t give me that face. You’re doing that thing again where you have some sort of problem and refuse to tell anyone. Frankly, it’s annoying.” Andrew tells him matter-of-factly.

“Nothing’s wrong, Andrew. I’m fine.” A lie, and Andrew could tell.

“Bullshit.” Andrew catches Neil’s eyes. For a minute neither of them refuse to back out. Neil eventually caves.

“I guess I’m just worried. I don’t know. I’m probably over thinking things.” Neil shakes his head, leaning back on his hands. He gazes at the setting sun and the students milling about in the parking lot. “I don’t know how to describe it.”

“Try.” Andrew takes one last drag of the cigarette and flicks what’s left over the edge of the roof.

“It’s just…I’m worried. About everything, About the fact that one day you and the others will have graduated and I’d still be stuck here. That I’ll eventually have to be recruited by a pro exy team. And about us. This.” Neil gestures between them. “Whatever this is.”

“Us?” Andrew makes short sarcastic sound. “There is no ‘us,’ remember? This doesn’t mean anything.”

“It doesn’t?” Neil eyes Andrew sharply. “Because for all you say about this being nothing, you make it seem as if there’s a something. And it feels like something.”

“What would you know? You said it yourself: You don’t swing.” Andrew lights another cigarette, taking a deep pull and closing his eyes.

“I don’t. Unless it’s you.” Neil swallows. This is the longest Andrew has allowed this topic to run. Previously, he would just get up and leave, fed up with the conversation.. “You…you are the reason I’m here, you know? You let me stay, gave me a key, and that’s more than anyone’s done for me.”

“I can’t give you the world, you know.” Andrew’s gaze seems to pierce through Neil. “There might be someone out there who can.”

“I never asked for you to give me the world.” Neil reaches a hand out, hovering tentatively over Andrew’s. “All I’ve wanted is you.”

There’s a few tense seconds where Neil think that Andrew is going to leave, but instead he turns his palm over, fingers settling in the spaces between Neil’s. A silent breath of relief leaves Neil.

“I’ve never wanted anyone more than I’ve wanted you, Andrew.”

Andrew never answers, but the way his grip tightens is more than enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I actually had trouble finishing this ughh, but I rewrote the whole ending to do it. I think it came out better than I expected tbh. I also accidentally closed this while writing it on tumblr and had to redo the first 2 parts UGH


End file.
